What is the way to make life happy?

Question

Asmitha Rathis · Accepted Answer

This is a formula I learnt recently. Lower your expectations, more the happiness haha :)
Happiness = outcome - expectation

Priyanka Saini · Answer

Be grateful for everything you have! 🌸

Phillip · Answer

Seeking truth primarily, rather than happiness - first knowing oneself - is the foundation for fulfillment.

Practice reframing negative experiences as non-negative. Our baseline programming is to lash out when life 'slaps us in the face.' Instead, practice non-reaction - observing, like a scientist of your mind, when such incidents occur. Understand that this mindfulness practice is buffering you, whereas the alternative tends to make you and others worse. With this perspective, suffering becomes more like sandpaper, buffering you and giving you more bandwidth (space between you and your thoughts, so you're not a mere hostage to the next arising thought).

To effectively reframe negative experiences, it's essential to know yourself. We all have negative bias, and no matter the standard of "thriving" we reach, that becomes the norm, and our minds will naturally look out for a problem. We have to reach a state of objectivity - not based on how we feel, but through practice. If unchecked, we'll tend to palliate negative emotions with superficial, top-down distractions that are unhealthy. It's a practice of being okay wherever we are - creating the space for what is truly positive (eliminating negatives) - to stop resisting what isn't comfortable. Our built-in reactionary programming is survival-based and doesn't serve us very well anymore.

Therefore, do not put negative emotions on a pedestal - Especially when they're strong, avoid developing opinions on their basis - They are frequently misleading. For instance, our minds continually throw out 'what ifs', due to uncertainty. And when they're negative, we may feel the emotional aftermath of it - *as if it is true*.

Remember that amid toxic emotional distractions, there is a more important, broader perspective that is more true, no matter how strong a feeling is. If it's not pushing you forward, or if it feels toxic, let it go, even as it may continually arise. Replace it with gratitude, countering the negative bias. If you find yourself dwelling on a negative emotion regarding another person, decide whether there is more that needs to be communicated. If so, write it down, and when the time is right, be open, deeply honest, and vulnerable in your communication to facilitate open honesty in the other person. If there is nothing more to communicate, let it go.

Ultimately, this is cultivating the benefits of the deep present - not dwelling on the past or anticipating the future. Then that frees us up to be happy solving good problems - not merely trying to be happy in a vacuum (selfish).

Sam Harris' metaphor for reframing pain illustrates the reframing concept well: 'If you were to feel the pain of lifting weights in a vacuum, without any context, it would be torture - you would call an ambulance. But with the framing of health-improvement, it can actually feel good.' By applying this same principle to negative experiences, we can transform our perception and reduce unnecessary suffering.

Kate Ramakaieva · Answer

@devoresyah I like the second point, you got the idea! 😅

Rully Ardiansyah · Answer

I only focus few things right now:
- Getting closer to God
- Make my Wife happy
- Just do & build whatever I want and don't expect anything high (like becoming rich instantly)

Emiliya Strahilova · Answer

Self-awareness. Because when you know yourself better, you eventually become in peace with the good and the bad circumstances.

Michael Shver · Answer

I think it depends on many things. Like building meaningful connections with family, friends, and the community. Learning to worry less about what happened and what will happen. Focusing on the moment and working from it. Aligning your work and free time with activities you love and are passionate about, and in which you see meaning. And on a more basic level, it's important to care about your health: both physical and mental.

Everyone has their own dreams, interests, and passions, but usually, happiness doesn't really depend on just one thing. Building happiness and keeping it up is a process.

Pablo Roig · Answer

knowing that no matter how much you worry you're going to die anyway

Otis Wu · Answer

Ghulam Abbas, finding happiness often boils down to appreciating the little moments and cultivating gratitude for what we have. It's about connecting with others, pursuing passions, and making time for self-care and reflection.

Jao Japitana · Answer

Contentment is usually one of the criteria but it greatly depends on what makes someone say they are content with what they have....

For me it's enjoying what you have already

Gong Zijian · Answer

Happiness often stems from appreciating the little moments and cultivating gratitude for what we have. Ghulam Abbas, focusing on meaningful relationships and personal growth can also significantly enhance our sense of well-being.

Answer

Just Sleep!

Tiep Vu · Answer

So great there are discussions like this on Product Hunt.

My take: Stop being afraid of what people think. They'll forget anyway.

Start building that product, start asking that customer.

You fail, you're fine. You succeed, you're nice.

- From a loser and winner -

Answer

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Jonni Gani · Answer

@umar_saleem I like this one Umar. So simple :)

What is the way to make life happy?

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