Which description is better?

Question

What do you guys think, which one to keep?
If you have a better description, let me know.
https://readhive.webflow.io

NEW description: Tired of wasting time on lousy books?
Life's too short for that! Enter ReadHive, your book buddy. We make finding awesome reads a breeze. Whether you're hunting for new classics or hidden gems, we've got your back. Say goodbye to book boredom!

OLD description: Feeling overwhelmed by the sheer number of books out there. Readhive is here to help you find that are worth giving a try. Whether you're looking for a new classic to add to your shelf or a hidden gem you've never heard of, Readhive has something for you.

Leena Chitnis · Accepted Answer

@nihalkothiyal Here's my take (and I copywrite for a living):

Tired of wasting time on lousy books?

Enter ReadHive -- we make finding awesome reads a breeze. Whether you're hunting for classics or hidden gems, we've got your back. Say goodbye to book boredom!

Aljoša Židan · Answer

I like the new one more. Although I would try to get it even shorter. When I write copy I always try to dissect each word in the sentence and understand if it gives any value to my overall objective. If not, it does not have to be here.

If would ask myself for example, is it possible to write this "Life's too short for that! Enter ReadHive, your book buddy. We make finding awesome reads a breeze." in one sentence?

Nihal Kothiyal · Answer

@elenat indeed. thanks for feedback elena

Nihal Kothiyal · Answer

@chitterz How about removing the last 2 lines?

also do visit website to get idea of where it is placed

Nihal Kothiyal · Answer

@susan_l_leary thanks for the feedback susan

Elena Tsemirava · Answer

The new one is just easier to read and understand.

Shivangi Awasthi · Answer

The new one is smartly phrased!

André J · Answer

@nihalkothiyal "Finding gems in a sea of options is a challenge. Readhive is your personal genie in a bottle for finding your next best read of your life" 👉 Sea, Genie, Diamonds. 👉 almost like a story / adventure. (Might need further iteration, try Chat GPT4 Plus for that)

Susan L. Leary · Answer

The new one is smartly phrased!

André J · Answer

I would use more storry telling. Its about books after all 😏

Nihal Kothiyal · Answer

@aljosa_z do you think removing the last 2 lines would be a better option?

Nihal Kothiyal · Answer

@shivangiawasthi thanks for the feedback :)

Nihal Kothiyal · Answer

@sentry_co like? any example?

Which description is better?

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