🔥🔥Roast my page 🔥🔥
Aleksandr V
5 replies
Hi folks,
I've made some big changes to the structure of the landing page of https://bizplanner.ai and need your feedback!
Please be as tough as possible (but reasonable ofc).
Thank you a lot!
Replies
Janet Ashforth@janet_ashforth
What a terrific idea. If you don't mind, I'm going to copy you;}
Here goes:
Terrific job using the Oxford comma!!
Change this blurb:
Explore examples created with our AI Business Plan Generator. These are real outputs from our service, showcasing the depth and personalization achievable for your own plan. Click 'See More Templates' for additional examples.
To this:
Explore examples created with our AI Business Plan Generator. These are accurate outputs from our service, showcasing the depth and personalization achievable for your plan. Click 'See More Templates' for additional examples.
Why the changes?
Because the word "real" isn't as engaging as actual.
"Your own plan": "own after your is redundant and creates a tautology. You don't need it:)
Use contractions in your copy to make it more conversational. For example, "you'll receive" instead of "you will receive."
That's all I had the time for. I hope it helps!!
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@janet_ashforth
Hi!
Copying is not good, but who cares))
What do you mean by "Oxford comma"?
Very good points about the "Real"! Thanks!
@veryayskiy The Oxford comma is when you use commas after every item in a series like this: "This included dialogues, sound effects, and music to enhance the immersive experience."
As opposed to: "This included dialogues, sound effects and music to enhance the immersive experience."
It's the grammatically correct way. You'd be surprised how many websites don't use it!
I dont know how to rost?
I like that you have a lot of CTA to start straight away, I would say that for me there is too much text. I learned from out experience that users don't have the patience to read all the text more "scanning" than actually reading so I would recommend if you don't want to narrow text down to highlight the key words.