How to deal with loneliness when you're not alone?

Question

Have you ever encountered with such thing that you felt lonely among those who seemed to be familiar to you and among those who should definitely understand you?

As for me - yes. Yes, I feel. And this is an interesting phenomenon. After all, I'm talking about people who speak the same language with me, about people who know me well and it seemed that they can certainly support me and share this feeling .... but no.

I still feel lonely.

There is no tragedy in this, and as a specialist, I understand that this is due to individual characteristics: upbringing, perception, education, experience gained and many other things.

Existential psychology explains this phenomenon as the fact that each person is a unique planet and the problem of this planet is that if it doesn't want to be like others, it needs to remain unique, and there is no other person who is also like a separate planet who could to be like this person-planet.

Do you understand what I mean? Did you feel something similar?

Joseph Natoli · Accepted Answer

Hey Olga, thanks for the post! You are oddly not alone in feeling this way! I think many entrepreneurs face this, as it is very hard to find like-minded people (and we all think we are unique smarty-pants with great ideas).

If you were to figure out a way to combat this or find resources to share for entrepreneurs feeling like this... you should share them!

Aliaksei Saskevich · Answer

Hey Olga, interesting discussion you started!

Yes, I think it is a common feeling for a lot of people today. And I also feel lonely, even I have great friends and colleagues.

I think that it is not only due to medical or psychological reasons.

There can be economical and social reasons behind it. Western culture nowadays is filled with egocentric, pragmatic and egoistic models of behavior. In my opinion, it creates a mental border either from outside or inside every one of us.

And people, even friends and family, start to act with question like "what you can give me if I help you?". They put their needs and interests at the first priority.

In many cases it is not too bad - everyone live their life at first.
But when it became common behavior to everyone - it destructs the main fundament why the human is the human - by being "social animal".

So, I think that building relationships and family, creating startup or group of like-minded people, should not start with question "what benefits it, or you can give me, literally?".

It should start with the question "what it can give to us if we do it together?" no matter what we are talking about.

Bren Kinfa 💎 SaaS Gems · Answer

@happhi Absolutely agreed here! This idea of being "lonely" doesn't always mean you need to feel bad about it too. You can be happy + generate amazing ideas during these moments.

Olga Neudakh · Answer

@joseph_natoli Thank you for answer, Joseph. Its important for me. When I will finish my research, I will definitely continue writing about how can solve it

Eric Beans · Answer

It’s completely normal when starting a company.  I lost a lot of people I called friends because of the time commitment of starting a company and the inevitable drift.  People I thought would support me, didn’t.

Other people stepped up and became new friends.

Keep your head high and learn to be happy feeling lonely.  Some of your best ideas will come from being lonely.

Olga Neudakh · Answer

@dmitry_sytsevich True way, I agree. But I hear many stories about no understanding this feelings. As for my opinion, this people don't research their emotion.

Olga Neudakh · Answer

@asaskevich Hi, Aliaksei! Thank you very much for your feelings. I agree with you - the best way to be closely - do something together and ask each other about feelings and mood.

Joseph Natoli · Answer

@olga_neudakh Keep the entrepreneur communities here, on indie hacker, ycombinator, and reddit updated on your research!  We could all use better tools to combat founder loneliness!  Good Luck Olga, you got this!

Dmitry Sytsevich · Answer

Hi Olga 👋
I think everyone has experienced this feeling. 
As a special case, in my opinion, in such cases you need to open up as much as possible and tell your loved ones how you feel. 
That's no guarantee that they will understand you, but it's a step in the right direction.

Olga Neudakh · Answer

@happhi Hi, Eric, thank you for your story. I am not afraid about this feeling, I like it - to be lonely. In my discussion I try to figure out how does other people understand this?

Denis Galka · Answer

Hi, everyone! Thanks, Olga for creating such an interesting topic. I guess is a bit unusual for the Product Hunt but still.

As for me on the one hand I feel ok when I am alone. Perhaps it's all because of my introverted nature. But on the other hand, I do feel not ok and alone when I am in the company of people who don't understand me. So I try to spend less time with people who are mentally different from me.

Olga Neudakh · Answer

@denis_galka Thank you for your answer, Denis. It is good way - to be with people with similar mind.

Olga Neudakh · Answer

@joseph_natoli Thank you very much, Joseph ;)

How to deal with loneliness when you're not alone?

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