How do you handle conflict between team memebers, especially when both have valid points?

Stepan Cherkasov
6 replies

Replies

Ivan Ralic
Why is there a conflict? Having valid points is rarely a reason for conflict. People can disagree about stuff and still be friends, nevertheless productive colleagues.
@ralic The issue arises when both fail to budge on their opinions.
Ivan Ralic
@stepan_cherkasov I'll assume that they are not mature enough to agree to disagree, and that they are both extremely important for your company. In most cases people only have problem with their ego and don't even listen to the other side. The best thing you can do is to try and facilitate the discussion. Stand in between and start asking questions to both sides and try to understand exactly both points. This way you put yourself in the control of the conflict. And you can conclude it by yourself with "ok so person A believes this and person B this, seams interesting, you both have very valid points. That's great! Let's grab a beer." Humor is great in this situations as well, if you make them laugh about it, you win.
Grace Hur
@stepan_cherkasov @ralic +1 on humor (or relieving the energetic intensity). The thing about conflict is that it's about addressing the impact of the behavior. From the first person perspective, we all have the tendency to judge others by their impact. Example: "This person is terrible. They're driving SO slow and are going to make me late 🤬" But, when it comes to ourselves, we judge ourselves more by our intention (irregardless of impact). Example: "I need to drive slow because my breaks aren't working at all and there is no safe place to stop. 🥺" We can be compassionate to intentions - after all, people's feelings and situations are often very valid. However, we still need to hold people (incl. ourselves) accountable to our/their actions and how it impacts others. TLDR: Address the behavior + impact.
Hey there! Conflict can be tough, but a little humor goes a long way. My go-to is a classic rock-paper-scissors battle ;) But really, taking the time to listen and understand each other's perspectives is key. Let's remember, teamwork makes the dream work!