Have you ever had the thought youโve only succeeded due to luck and not because of your talent or qualifications? And thus, don't feel like you deserve to be where you are?
What are your tips and tricks to get your head straight again?
@jason_andries1 What usually helps for me is seeing some startups having the worst and "scammiest" looking websites or even a worse product yet still getting sales. It helps me know that selling is king, and there's always people with far less than you who make it far bigger because they put themselves out there and aren't fretting over what they're lacking.
Yep, I often feel like this!
Are they ever going to find out that I'm a fraud?
I try to answer this question quickly: "They are very smart. They would know already, so you're not a fraud!
I think the phrase "Act confident and no one will question you" generally is true ๐
In the meantime, trust your intuition, listen to those with experience, always be open to learning, and help those who are also trying to learn and grow.
@ivo_scherkamp not knowing an answer is ok, being the quickest to admit lack of knowledge and quickly being able to gather that knowledge - that is the key.
I don't ever really feel like an actual "imposter". The closest thing that gets to it is when I am doubting I bring enough value to the table (which, based on the situation, I won't always blame on myself, e.g. when I simply do what someone needs me to do and not more it's their active decision to limit me as a resource).
That's a very specific thing you can change however, so whenever I feel like I should bring more value I will take this as an impulse to bring my value up. Even just starting to think how to improve myself and my capabilities and abilities is a valueable beginning to actually improving those things. Then further down the road I may go and learn a new skill, a new tool, or go through a new valueable experience.
What comes from this at some point (if it didn't before) I will start getting constant real-time and real-world confirmation with the people I work with that I am in fact not an imposter, which makes it pretty hard and pretentious to still think I might be one.
@mxmzb A good reality check-in is great advice. One must be able to see the value one brings to the table for that. Any tips on how to know your value?
Seeing discussions like this and seeing that everyone else suffers from imposter syndrome is certainly comforting, in an odd way. If everyone is an imposter, then nobody is!
Without luck very few succeed.
So assuming some of the achieved results was because of luck is in all probability true making it the correct starting point.
From there what you need to be honest about is , are you giving 100 % and are you ready to continue giving 100 percent as long as it takes.
If yes, then go ahead without fear. Nobody ever did anything with all that was required from step one.
I feel Imposter syndrome mainly arises from social media consumption where everyone appears to be an expert in something. But the Truth is nobody knows everything. Even the CEO's. I've seen this first hand.
Just stay curious about your work and find ways to keep improving. That's all there is to do.
Believe in yourself and constantly remind yourself about accepting as things are. Because in reality everything is always different than what you have in your head.
Also, having a little luck by your side is not wrong. All you gotta do is change your thought process and think in a direction where you're more content and accepting about almost everything. :)
Imposter syndrome is a common feeling, especially among high-achieving individuals. It can be difficult to overcome, but here are a few tips that might help:
1. Acknowledge your feelings and recognize that imposter syndrome is a common experience.
2. Remember that everyone has moments of self-doubt and that it's normal to feel like an imposter sometimes.
3. Focus on your accomplishments and the things you have achieved, rather than dwelling on your feelings of inadequacy.
4. Ask for feedback from others and seek support from friends, family, or a therapist who can help you work through your feelings of imposter syndrome.
5. Remember that imposter syndrome is a psychological phenomenon, and it doesn't reflect your actual abilities or worth as a person.
Ultimately, the key to overcoming imposter syndrome is to recognize that your feelings are not a true reflection of your abilities or worth as a person. It's important to remind yourself of your accomplishments and to seek support from others when you need it.
I'll say... by trusting in others.
We may find ourselves in a position of power or with a lot of responsibilities, and it may feel like all of these things have just happened by a string of unlikely coincidences.
It may feel like for all these years, we've just managed to trick people into believing that we are competent. I believe that the source of these thoughts is something I'd call the... hubris of our mind. Thinking we actually know better than others, subconsciously or not, while in actuality, we hardly ever do.
And yet, even the information we base these thoughts on is made out of things we ourselves have noticed, disregarding all the other things we have not. You might think about how anxious you were to complete a task, ignoring how you actually managed to research, develop, test and fix the thing, and how that takes a lot of skill in itself.
I think that's when it's important to have trustworthy people around you whom you respect in times like these, who can give you a less biased opinion. Kind of like... you don't have to carry the weight of the world by yourself situation. Anyway, this has inadvertently turned into a wall of text. I wish you best of luck!
Jiu jitsu! Emotion follows motion, especially when you share yourself with friends.
Once in a better mental state, plan and follow through. We are our actions.
It's normal to feel out of place sometimes; at times it feels like you're pretending to be someone you're not or like you're not an expert or good enough. You fear that if others knew your flaws they might not accept you. But it turns out that:
- If you're not a celebrity or a big name in your space, no one is paying much attention to your mistakes (Okay, maybe except for me).
- Even experts feel that way too, perhaps even more, as they have their careers on the line.
I've learned that imposter syndrome is but a mindset of fear of possible rejection. I think the best way to deal with it is to not be an imposter. You become an imposter because you believe it.
- Share like a beginner.
- Be open-minded and admit when you're wrong.
- Believe in what you say. Confidence is a reflection of what you're thinking.
- You will make mistakes 80% of the time, but these mistakes make you authentic. Perfection is overrated.
I think it's almost better the more you are honest about it in your times of low confidence. Since imposter syndrome is something that so many people experience, I think people identify with you even more if you're open about it, just as you're doing by sharing in this post.
Surround yourself with supportive co-workers and friends that you can talk freely about these feelings and that will remind you that you're capable and talented
@gal_moran18 So true! I know I am late to the answering party, but my colleague and I have been working on a podcast episode about imposter syndrome. The answers in this community helped us to collect a number of ways and tips for overcoming the five different types of "imposters". Check it out if you want to https://collato.com/podcast :)
In the software engineering field the program should always run as the accurate & expected result, but sometimes the code implements are very complex, it's very difficult to work out a comprehensive solution, thus we have to seek some workarounds or plan B.
Commonly it needs lot more programming basics & experience, computer science knowledge, and boring debug, but occasionally the sudden burst of inspiration may lead the way.
@harperwang As I understand it, in your field you find it quite easy to cross-reference your abilities with your job requirements as it is pretty straight forward. That is really nice
@franziska_kroll Although there' re some engineering methodologies & general procedures we could learn from the books, program codes, and other guys' experiences, the development is not always easy to implement.
As Thomas Edison said, genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration, we are desperate for the lucky inspirations while stucking there.
I don't know how this will sound, but I end up gaslighting my brain lol. :p I like to remind myself of where I was say a year back and just see how far I have come.
Most of time I feel I know what I do. But if not, I research and research. Better to take time to learn what you must do. Also, never be afraid to say "no" or "i will need more time" when you take something on that you don't know how to do. Honesty works better.
@francois_leger I love this! It teaches us to not just question ourselves but also the circumstances. Just because someone might expect us to know something right away does not mean that their expectations are right and we can help them learn that we also might need time to learn.